From the moment I found out what wisdom teeth were I was afraid I'd get them, and that I'd have to get them pulled out. I remember literally being 6 years old (give or take) and crying to my mom that someday I'd have wisdom teeth and someday I'd have to get them pulled out. My mom told me not to worry and it wouldn't be for a very, very long time. And again a few years later I started to worry about it again and I remember my dad telling me he has his wisdom teeth, and he never had to get them out. I think that's when I finally stopped worrying about. I comforted myself with the thought that maybe somehow by some genetic goodness I would never need to get my wisdom teeth out.
Then I got wisdom teeth and they started to hurt, and get occassionally get infected. I started to freak out again. Went to a dentist who said yes, they'd have to come out eventually but if we couldn't afford it (which we couldn't) it was okay to put it off, there was no rush in getting them out. Well anyway that was 8 years ago, and today was the day. I got one of my four wisdom teeth pulled out.
I wrote about the consulation last week, but I don't think I made clear the severity of this phobia. I haven't slept much for three days, just knowing today was it. And then today I was just a mess. But Aaron took me and held my hand and I did okay.
Until we walked into the surgery room and I saw the chair. And then needles. And the IV bag. And all the scary looking tools that they use to rip a tooth out of your head. And I just burst into tears and lept into Aaron's arms, and tried to run away. I remember saying, "I can't. I can't. I can't." But somehow I got myself into the chair, and some laughing gas, and said a prayer and looked at my husband, and I was okay. And then they gave me the IV, and a few minutes later I was out. I was annoyed that I asked if Aaron could stay until I was asleep, but they said nope he had to go, right then. But it was only a few minutes (seconds?) until I was out... and then I was up. Aaron said the total time he was gone was 12 minutes.
I have been afraid my entire life of 12 minutes.
Anyway I woke up wanting to go back to sleep, but not in any pain. I knew where I was. Aaron helped me to the car and we came home and I rested a bit. Watched some TV. And then I folded and put away some laundry. I still feel a little off, but nothing nearly as bad as I was anticipating. As usual, right? With fears like that, it's never really that bad. I remember my mom always trying to calm me down with things like this, but it's not like I could just shut it off. I don't want to be afraid. I KNOW there's nothing really to be afraid of. But the fear is there. And it's consuming. And it's not fun. But it's OVER!!
The other three all need to come out eventually, but we'll wait until we are making money. Aaron said he will even pay cash if we end up with insurance that AZ Max doesn't accept, because I'm comfortable there now.
And now that I've done it, the fear is seriously gone. I am ... dare I say it? ... almost looking forward to getting the other three out. Whenever that time comes.
I'm so grateful for the wonderful friends and family who helped me. Who sent me positive stories and watched my kids. And I know my mom wishes she could be there, but just reading her texts and talking to her and knowing she was thinking of me was nice. And my mother in law bought me bubble bath and a yummy treat. It's nice to be babyed! Anyway so that is how I have healed my wisdom tooth extraction phobia. Soooo glad it is over!