Sunday, March 16, 2014

March Happenings

We had Eliza's baby blessing. Her name is Elizabeth, but the nickname Eliza has really seemed to stick. Probably a lot to do with this song...

We also had Olivia's birthday party and had a house full of cousins. It was seriously the best day. I love having my house full of all these cousins making memories. From left to right we have Derrick, Brandon, picture is too blurry for me to know if that is Katelyn or Danielle. Olivia holding Jethro, and I'm going to guess that's Katelyn holding Eliza, Abigail, and Nathan. And there will be another baby in June! So crazy. And so much fun!

 So I was really proud of my "Ice candy" I made for the cake. I have never made candy before, don't have a candy thermometer or anything, so I was really surprised this worked as well as it did. I wanted it a little more blue, but I had Abigail helping and she squeezed the green a little too hard, and oh well. All it was was boiled water, sugar, corn syrup and lemon extract until it reached "hard crack stage" or something like that. It wasn't any where near perfect, but it was fun and Olivia loved it so that's what matters. I also wish I got a picture before the chocolate ice cream was melting out of the bottom. Olivia wanted an ice cream cake so we made a homemade one. It was delicious.
 Literally at the very last minute I decided decorating crowns would be a fun party activity. So I watched some youtube vidoes about how to make Origami crowns. They were a big hit too. I love Olivia's face in this picture.

I was also really please with my banner. I free handed the letters and was surprised with the outcome. 

Also this month I got the rest of my wisdom teeth out. It did not go nearly as beautifully as getting that first one out. It was actually The Worst. Like seriously, I'd rather go through natural childbirth a hundred times than do that again. I ended up with dry socket, and holy moly. Thank heavens I've had my sister-in-law here so I could spend a week in a drugged state, without my children or house suffering.

Then Olivia woke up with a fever on her birthday. And it stuck around until today. An entire week! Poor girl. And now Abigail has a fever. And Nathan had it right before I went to get my wisdom teeth out. So hopefully this week we will kick this bug once and for all, and get all packed up because we are going to NJ a week from today!!!!!!!! I am so excited. It will be so fabulous to see family and for everyone to meet Eiza, and Aaron and I will probably run away for a day to NYC. 

Sunday, March 9, 2014

Six Years Of Motherhood.

Can I tell you it's a whole lot easier to deal with this ^ the fourth time around, than it was the first?

I've been thinking a lot lately why that is, and I have come to the conclusion that it has a lot to do with my confidence in myself as a mother. I had spent a LOT of time around babies before I was a mother. I have LOVED babies, probably since my brother was born when I was two. Any time I could get my hands on a baby I was in heaven. I loved holding people's babies at my brother's baseball games, or random family functions when a baby would be there. As soon as I was old enough I was babysitting every chance I could get. It only got worse as I got older. I literally walked down the baby aisle every time I went to K-Mart and would smell the lotions and look at the little outfits and just urge time to move forward to when I could be a mother. I have never wanted anything else so much in my life.

So when the time finally came, you could imagine my sheer joy. Right? Only it was nothing like I expected at all. I had nannied, I had siblings, I thought I was so prepared. And I was so very overwhelmed. I cried a lot those first few months. Aaron and I fought more than we ever had before. I had no idea what I was doing, and I felt so unappreciated, anxious, angry, confused... but at the same time I felt fulfilled, and so blessed and really happy. How could one person experience all those emotions at the same time? Seriously, only a mother can understand! I was so unprepared for how quickly that pendulum could swing. In a single instant I could go from feeling so full of love that I thought my heart may burst, to "Oh-my-gosh-please-someone-take-this-milk-guzzling-little-person-away-from-me". There is no other time in my life I experience such a range of emotions in such a short period of time.

The sleepless nights seemed truly never ending. The around the clock feedings went on forever. There was always a diaper to change. And then one day I slept for 8 hours straight. And suddenly before I knew it she was feeding herself. She needs me less every day. Which is both a depressing and liberating thought. It helped though. For the babies who would come after her. I had lived through it once so I knew the sleepless nights wouldn't last forever. Nursing really is such a short sacrifice (yes, I consider it a sacrifice!). And it really isn't long before the hard stage is over and you're on to something new. 

This post is kind of all over the place. I hope my jumbled thoughts make sense when I read them again some day, and I hope I don't sound like I hate motherhood, because it's the total opposite. I am so grateful for my babies and I am so SO grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother. It may not be what I expected, but that is because I never could have known the magnitude of joy and love until I had children of my own.