Tuesday, May 24, 2016

An open letter to my unborn child.

Dear Baby Girl,
       I see you're already following the good example of your older siblings by not being born, even a day before your due date. It's okay, I'm used to it by now. I just want to be clear, this isn't a competition about who could gestate the longest, okay? We're at 40 weeks, so any day now would be great. Lets not try to get to 41 like everyone else. Plus, we just cleaned a lot. And I had the van cleaned. These things won't last long, so if you'd like a nice clean welcome into this world, tonight, tomorrow, no rush, would be a great day to be born. Otherwise, I make no promises about the condition of the vehicle that will drive you home. Perhaps you think because we already have a cute new baby here we're not as excited for your arrival. I promise, this couldn't be further from the truth! I am so excited to see you two next to each other. And all your older siblings can not wait to meet you. And so here's the thing. Your dad is going back to work after this week of vacation is up, and I'd really like you to be able to hang out with him a lot. So if you aren't here by Saturday we're going to be giving you the boot. But I'm super scared of that whole process, and worried how it will effect you, and me, and so please, before Saturday would be great. Also, if you could come out with a name badge on that would be great. Your dad and I can't seem to see eye to eye. Again, nothing new. Don't worry, no one is nameless yes. You've been such a calm in-utero baby. I hope it's indicative of your personality. Because we have a lot of crazy going on around here, and can sure use some calm. Though if you're another opinionated, sassy, silly, emotional female, don't worry. You'll fit right in.
We can't wait to kiss you, and count your toes, and dress you up. See you soon.


Thursday, May 12, 2016

7 weeks old!

Our little Saely is 7 weeks old today. We finally got some big, genuine happy to see ME smiles today. It was great. I haven't updated lately because for 1, I don't know how much I'm "allowed" to say on a public forum like my blog. And how much I want to say, for Saely's sake. Respecting her privacy and whatnot. But my hopes of reunification seem to be diminishing and we're thinking more about adoption. Fortunately we have some time before we have to make that decision. So many big decisions lately. I think I will always look back at 2016 as the craziest year. We are looking at possibly buying a house and choosing to stay here in Yuma for at least 5 more years. We're also thinking we might home school next year. And we are going to have to decide if we're going to basically raise twins! And you know the best time to make these decisions is when you're running on 2-3 hours of sleep at a time.

38 weeks pregnant now and feeling really good honestly. My usual aches and pains that I've come to expect at this stage in pregnancy haven't hit me yet, and other than being tired and difficulty with like maneuvering around this giant belly, I really feel great. For the first time I'm glad that I tend to "slow cook" my babies. I'll gladly stay pregnant another 3 weeks! She's a whole lot easier to take care of in there than out. So as long as we're both healthy she can stay put. Though I am so excited to meet her. This pregnancy has felt so surreal. Time goes by so much faster with all these little ones.

Anyway, if you want the last trimester of a pregnancy to fly by, I highly recommend becoming foster parents to a newborn. There is no time to think, "hm, how can I pass the time before baby comes?" I can't believe there will be 2 of them in 3 weeks or less. Saely is a very high needs newborn. She fusses quite a bit, doesn't sleep great, and I keep thinking "How am I going to do it?" But immediately I feel peace and think that it will work out. One day at a time! We'll get through it. I just hope this little one in my womb is like the most chill baby ever. Otherwise things will certainly be interesting.

The kids are all finishing up school. Lots of end of year parties and trips. Oh and I got rid of one of our dogs. Something just had to give. And she was constantly jumping on the kids and knocking them over and they wouldn't go outside because they were afraid of her jumping on them. I feel tremendously guilty, but she went to a great family and I'm sure they're taking great care of her. But I still feel this sense of guilt. However, all 4 kids were completely 100% on board with her going. I don't think I could have done it if even one of them seemed remotely sad about her leaving. So now life is a manageable 5 kids.. soon to be 6! And 1 dog. Binky it seems to have proven the test of time. He's a good dog, even if he has a weird compulsion to pee on plastic bags. Seriously, completely house broken, unless you leave a plastic bag on the ground. So weird.

I'm going to try to add some pictures from my phone. We'll see how that works...