Tonight my husband gave me a priesthood blessing. To half (I'm assuming) the people reading this blog they know exactly what that is, and it doesn't sound weird at all. To the other half, the non-mormon half, it probably sounds strange. So I'll explain briefly. I believe my husband holds the priesthood, and has the authority to act for God. I believe he can lay his hands on my head and be a conduit for the Spirit of God to tell me words of comfort, direction, healing.
Tonight I received such a blessing. I won't share all of what was said with the world here in my little corner of cyber space, as a lot of it was personal and spiritual, but one thing that stood out, that I feel prompted to share is about my children. Of course. But God told me to have the same charity I have for so many people around me, for my children. To show them the same service and charity that I am so quick to give to others. It wasn't a rebuke, but a gentle reminder. And I was blessed that as I do this, my children will grow and learn to serve and have charity for one another.
Tonight as I changed the sheets on my kids beds, and made up their little beds my heart was so full of love for them. I really don't ever make their beds. And if we're being honest here, I only change the sheets when I absolutely have to because they were peed on, puked on, or as was the case tonight, buggered on. As in, someone had been blowing their nose on their blanket and sheets! Kids are so gross. Anyway, I washed their sheets and made their beds and felt that charity.
There are times when I'm bending over the bath tub trying to wash their hair with a kink in my back, listening to them cry that they got water in their eyes, and I'm feeling far from charitable. I can't get them into their beds fast enough, so I can collapse on my own bed and look at my phone.
This second scenario is much more common in my home than the first. I'm making lunch, listening to demands and whines about wanting something else, or not enough of this, too much of that, and charity is very far from my heart. There is a lot of "You get what you get and you don't throw a fit." being said in not such nice tones, and just wanting them to sit and eat and BE QUIET so I can sit and eat my lunch with some semblance of peace.
They want me to read them a book, play Barbies, go with them outside, go with them upstairs... I need more charity in all of these moments. I need more charity in serving my children.
I hope it doesn't sound like I'm beating myself about this. I'm not. I know I'm a good mom, and I do love my kids and if I didn't have charity they'd probably be... well I don't even want to say! But it wouldn't be good. But I can be better. I can be sooooo much better.
It's late. I need someone to send me more levels on Candy Crush. I just keep rambling. I should sleep.