I was pretty happy after dropping Olivia off at preschool yesterday. Absolutely no time for those feelings of "she's growing up so fast". Today I dropped her off and she didn't want me to walk her in, she wanted to go in by herself. She was so excited. She ran towards the door, and then at the last minute before walking in, she turned back and looked at me and did the sign for "I love you".
Cue tears.
I did the sign back, and her face lit up with a grin, and in she went. I was so grateful I was watching her. I wonder how many moments I've missed because instead of looking at my kids I was looking at my phone. Ouch.
It's funny the things that make me feel like a grown up. I've been married for SEVEN years, and we've owned a home, and moved across the country and taken vacations, had THREE children! and all this "grown up" stuff. But today before taking Olivia to school I made her go into the bathroom and wash her face and brush her hair. She came out of the bathroom all clean and pretty, and I just couldn't believe it. My baby who, four years ago couldn't do anything for herself, just got herself dressed, got her shoes on, used the bathroom, washed her face, brushed her hair... Usually I am just full of gratitude at her independence. Grateful it's one less thing I have to do. But today it made me feel kind of old. I am old enough to have a kid who can pretty much take care of herself. Okay, not really, but seriously. I felt like those never ending nights of nursing and rocking would never end. And now here we are.
Of course now I spend my time rocking and feeding another baby. But it's a lot easier when you've been through it and you realize how completely temporary it all is.
Give yourself a break. Before cell phones, Moms were looking at something else. It's not all bad. If you were that tuned in to your child all the time you wouldn't be able to let her go. The miracle is that they manage to grow up and turn out great in spite of us Moms.
ReplyDeleteAwwww, such a sweet first day! Ours was quite a bit rockier, but today is another day. It sounds to me that Olivia is the type of kid who wouldn't let you miss a thing! I think if you were looking at your phone, she'd make her presence known! So you probably didn't even miss the stuff you wish you did :)
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