Eliza @ 3 months

I think recently Eliza knew I've been wondering if we're done having anymore babies, or if I want just one more... and she wants to the baby. She wants me to never even think about having another. She's ensuring this by giving up all her naps and crying with a fierceness she's never before exhibited. It has been exhausting. Hopefully it was just an upset tummy or something, but man it's been a rough 48 hours.

A little about Eliza... she has never been a good napper. She will fall asleep on her own, but only stay asleep for 20-45 minutes, if I'm lucky. There are many days her only naps are the few minutes we are in the car running someone to school or t-ball, or whatever. She does sleep well at night though, so I can't complain too much.

She's around 17lbs, and nurses about every 3-4 hours during the day. I'm slightly afraid this new fussiness is teething, but I think it's too early. She does love to chew on her hands and drools an awful lot. But I don't know.

She's a mostly happy baby. Although she is probably my most high maintenance baby. She always wants someone talking to her. She's completely content, as long as someone is paying her some attention. Fortunately for her she has two older sisters who are happy to sit and talk to her. Yesterday she was "talking" to Abigail and Abigail said, "Eliza, I wish you could just say something real." It was cute, and I thought I've felt that way too... wishing some people would just say something real. But I digress. She also hates to have a wet diaper. Her poor little tear duct is still clogged and so she has a goopy eye that requires constant wiping, massaging, hot compressing.

She tries to crawl already, and she has pushed herself forward, in this weird little almost army crawl type thing. It reminds me a lot of Olivia at this age... which worries me! And the other day she rolled from her back to her tummy.

She got a new play mat and she loves to grab her toys, and talk to them and smile. We really could have saved ourselves some money and just gotten the kid a mirror. She loves to talk to herself.

She goes to bed around 7-8 and sleeps until 7-8 the next morning, waking once to eat. Although we did have one night where she slept 13 solid straight hours. That would have been a great night if I wasn't plagued with a random bout of insomnia, and couldn't fall asleep until 2:00 AM.

Overall she brings our family so much joy, and I just love watching her grow and develop.

Abigail's Smile

Probably the worst fake smile in the history of mankind. And I didn't realize she put on that necklace. Oh well still cute!

Our Easter Traditions...

We have the Easter Bunny visit our house Friday night, so we can do all the egg hunting and chocolate eating on Saturday, and spend Sunday reflecting on our Savior, and going to church, and spending time with family. We still do an Easter egg hunt with Aaron's family on Sunday, but for our little family it just makes sense, especially when you have 9:00am church! Here are some pictures from this morning.

 

I didn't get pictures of their baskets before they tore them apart, but they got bubble bath, tooth brushes, flossers, chocolate rabbits, Lightning McQueen car, tea sets, silly string, and a Kids vs Parents game for everyone. Probably some other random stuff that I'm forgetting, but they were excited. The Silly String was the biggest hit.

Silly String fight!

Then Saturday night we read in the book of John the story of the resurrection, and made resurrection rolls. This is becoming my favorite tradition, I think ever, that we have started as a family.

Basically we take a marshmallow, which represents Christ's body. Then we roll it in butter, and then a cinnamon-sugar mixture, representing how Mary prepared Christs body after he died. Then you put the oiled, spiced "Jesus" in a roll, which obviously represents the tomb. We just use Pillsbury Crescent Rolls. Put the marshmallow in, and seal the roll around it. Then bake... and when you open them up they look like the ones in the picture... hollow. Like an empty tomb. We did not open them up yet tonight... before they went to bed we talked a bit about how Mary must have been feeling. She loved Jesus so much and they were such good friends, and it was probably a very hard thing to do. Then when we open the rolls in the morning and they are empty, we will remember the empty tomb and the hope Mary felt, and the hope we can all feel because of that miraculous moment.

And I don't do this often, but I hope anyone reading this today will take a minute to think about their Savior. Think about who Jesus Christ is, think about the Atonement and what it really means in your life. For me, my relationship with Jesus Christ is very real. And personal. I have this picture on a wall in my house. It is simply titled, "Hope".  And I just love to look at it and think of Peter and John and the emotions they must have felt when they heard the tomb was open. It says in John 20, they ran, one faster than the other, just running towards the tomb... and they get there and it's empty, except for the linens Jesus was wrapped in. And tonight as I was reading my scriptures this verse pierced my heart..."Then went in also that other disciple, which came first to the sepulchre, and he saw, and believed."

What did he see? He didn't see Jesus... but it says he believed. I probably won't see Jesus Christ in my lifetime, but I believe. I believe he was resurrected, and I believe that because of that truth I will live with Heavenly Father again. That my sins are forgiven, that my pains have been felt and understood by an older Brother, who is always there for me. This knowledge brings my life so much joy, and can be hard to share this part of me... but here it is. 

Happy Easter!

Have I really not written that long??

I could have sworn I wrote about our trip to NJ, but I guess I didn't.

And now all the details are gone from my mind.

But here are some highlights...

Seeing my brother be himself with my kids. He has had a rough few years, and I don't know, just didn't seem like the brother I knew, and the uncle I thought he was going to be... until this trip. He was wrestling and laughing and playing with my kids, and it was great. It also made me wish we didn't live so far away.

My Nanny came over every single day to hold Eliza. And tell her how pretty she was. And tell my mom to look at her because she was doing something. It cracked me up. She would smile, or eat her hands, or close her eyes, or blink, and Nanny would say, "Look! Look Michele! How cute." And my poor Mom who trying to do a million other things would look and agree, how cute. I loved seeing my sweet little baby so fussed over, and again made me wish we didn't live so far.

We went to the Liberty Science Center with my parents and sister and had a lot of fun. Olivia got to go through the Touch Tunnel, which is really a notable milestone for any kid who grew up in NJ, so I'm glad she got that experience. There were lots of other cute things, and it was great to have enough adults to outnumber the kids for a change. Again made me wish we didn't live so far!

The kids got to spend time with my aunts, going to all sorts of fun places.

We also did a "Thanksgiving" dinner which was great. I got to see all of my cousins and aunts and uncles and spend time together like a holiday, even though it wasn't at all. I miss them all so much, and yes again I wished we lived closer so times like that weren't so rare.

Oh yeah and Nathan was sick like the entire time. And not just sick, but absolutely miserable. Crying, and whining, and just no pleasing him. He wasn't really himself until the end of the trip, so that kind of sucked.

Oh and speaking of sucked... I was soo sick right before we left. Poor Aaron had to do all the pack and last minute remembering of stuff to bring because I was in bed shivering with a high fever, and coughing my lungs up. Yeah that sucked. Going through security at the airport sucks in general. Going through with four kids really sucks. Going through with four kids AND having a body temperature over 102 reeaally, really sucks. But we made it, and actually the flight itself wasn't bad at all. Going home was a breeze as well. My tips for traveling with lots of little kids... don't make the mistake we made a few years ago and bring a bunch of sugary snacks to bribe them with. It makes them act like lunatics. Bring some healthy snacks, and lots of electronics. A crummy night's sleep helps too, because 5 hours on a plane, someone is bound to fall asleep.

The kids are still asking to go back to Nanny's house. Especially Nathan. Olivia and Abigail seem to realize it's not very realistic to think we could hop on a plane willy nilly and go visit, but Nathan doesn't see why not. Every time we drive past the airport, or even see a plane he asks if we can "fly in the sky" to Nanny's house.

Other fun news... the girls started t-ball. They are cute, but it is getting so hot already. I think they need to sign up for gymnastics or hockey or any other indoor activity! It's still in the 90's so that's good, but the end of the beautiful weather is in sight and I'm dreading it. I'll try to update more and get some pictures up soon.

March Happenings

We had Eliza's baby blessing. Her name is Elizabeth, but the nickname Eliza has really seemed to stick. Probably a lot to do with this song...

We also had Olivia's birthday party and had a house full of cousins. It was seriously the best day. I love having my house full of all these cousins making memories. From left to right we have Derrick, Brandon, picture is too blurry for me to know if that is Katelyn or Danielle. Olivia holding Jethro, and I'm going to guess that's Katelyn holding Eliza, Abigail, and Nathan. And there will be another baby in June! So crazy. And so much fun!

 So I was really proud of my "Ice candy" I made for the cake. I have never made candy before, don't have a candy thermometer or anything, so I was really surprised this worked as well as it did. I wanted it a little more blue, but I had Abigail helping and she squeezed the green a little too hard, and oh well. All it was was boiled water, sugar, corn syrup and lemon extract until it reached "hard crack stage" or something like that. It wasn't any where near perfect, but it was fun and Olivia loved it so that's what matters. I also wish I got a picture before the chocolate ice cream was melting out of the bottom. Olivia wanted an ice cream cake so we made a homemade one. It was delicious.

 Literally at the very last minute I decided decorating crowns would be a fun party activity. So I watched some youtube vidoes about how to make Origami crowns. They were a big hit too. I love Olivia's face in this picture.

I was also really please with my banner. I free handed the letters and was surprised with the outcome. 

Also this month I got the rest of my wisdom teeth out. It did not go nearly as beautifully as getting that first one out. It was actually The Worst. Like seriously, I'd rather go through natural childbirth a hundred times than do that again. I ended up with dry socket, and holy moly. Thank heavens I've had my sister-in-law here so I could spend a week in a drugged state, without my children or house suffering.

Then Olivia woke up with a fever on her birthday. And it stuck around until today. An entire week! Poor girl. And now Abigail has a fever. And Nathan had it right before I went to get my wisdom teeth out. So hopefully this week we will kick this bug once and for all, and get all packed up because we are going to NJ a week from today!!!!!!!! I am so excited. It will be so fabulous to see family and for everyone to meet Eiza, and Aaron and I will probably run away for a day to NYC. 

Six Years Of Motherhood.

Can I tell you it's a whole lot easier to deal with this ^ the fourth time around, than it was the first?

I've been thinking a lot lately why that is, and I have come to the conclusion that it has a lot to do with my confidence in myself as a mother. I had spent a LOT of time around babies before I was a mother. I have LOVED babies, probably since my brother was born when I was two. Any time I could get my hands on a baby I was in heaven. I loved holding people's babies at my brother's baseball games, or random family functions when a baby would be there. As soon as I was old enough I was babysitting every chance I could get. It only got worse as I got older. I literally walked down the baby aisle every time I went to K-Mart and would smell the lotions and look at the little outfits and just urge time to move forward to when I could be a mother. I have never wanted anything else so much in my life.

So when the time finally came, you could imagine my sheer joy. Right? Only it was nothing like I expected at all. I had nannied, I had siblings, I thought I was so prepared. And I was so very overwhelmed. I cried a lot those first few months. Aaron and I fought more than we ever had before. I had no idea what I was doing, and I felt so unappreciated, anxious, angry, confused... but at the same time I felt fulfilled, and so blessed and really happy. How could one person experience all those emotions at the same time? Seriously, only a mother can understand! I was so unprepared for how quickly that pendulum could swing. In a single instant I could go from feeling so full of love that I thought my heart may burst, to "Oh-my-gosh-please-someone-take-this-milk-guzzling-little-person-away-from-me". There is no other time in my life I experience such a range of emotions in such a short period of time.

The sleepless nights seemed truly never ending. The around the clock feedings went on forever. There was always a diaper to change. And then one day I slept for 8 hours straight. And suddenly before I knew it she was feeding herself. She needs me less every day. Which is both a depressing and liberating thought. It helped though. For the babies who would come after her. I had lived through it once so I knew the sleepless nights wouldn't last forever. Nursing really is such a short sacrifice (yes, I consider it a sacrifice!). And it really isn't long before the hard stage is over and you're on to something new. 

This post is kind of all over the place. I hope my jumbled thoughts make sense when I read them again some day, and I hope I don't sound like I hate motherhood, because it's the total opposite. I am so grateful for my babies and I am so SO grateful for the opportunity I have to be a mother. It may not be what I expected, but that is because I never could have known the magnitude of joy and love until I had children of my own.

Random update

Elizabeth 1 week old



Elizabeth 1 month old

 

 

 My project dresser. I'm still working on decorating their room and I'd love to be the cute mommy blogger who posts pictures of those things when I'm done, but I probably won't, let's be real here. But I am so excited for painting furniture. Olivia helped me with this and she was so cute. She wants to start a business painting people's furniture. I asked her what she'd do with all her money and she thought a minute then said, "Uhm, put it in giant bags, probably. And carry it around."

 Abigail's face. Need I say more?

 Here's my whole crew, with my momma. We miss her so much, and wish the distance from AZ to NJ was like... a lot less. Let's just get rid of all those Midwestern states and push us closer together, huh? Plan B is to convince her to become a snowbird.