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Friday, March 30, 2018

13 years ago today

Thirteen years ago today I had a date with a boy from institute. I was 20 years old, far from home, and just trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my life. I had my eye on this guy who sat behind me. He was funny and smart and insightful. There was just something about him that drew me to him. The few minutes we had to talk before we had to run off to our next class never seemed like enough time.

Then he finally did it. He told me he wanted to ask me to go out with him to see the Easter pageant but I had been running off so fast lately that he didn't have a chance. So stumbling awkwardly over my words I told him well, we should definitely still go out and do something. We exchanged numbers and went on our way. I ended up calling him 2 hours later and asking him to go out the very next day. I was so worried about how desperate this must have made me seem. I felt like I wasn't playing the game correctly.

But 13 years ago was that very first date. We went out with my roommate and her boyfriend. Dinner, then a movie. But we had a couple of hours to kill before the movie started so we walked around and got to know each other better. The conversation flowing just as easily as I had always imagined it would. And then when the movie was over and Aaron was bringing me home, it still didn't seem like enough time. I made a comment about how many stars there were out here in Arizona. He told me that sometime we should go to Sauguaro Lake and then I'd really see some stars. It was probably close to 11 at this point but I wasn't tired. "Lets go!"   "Now?" "Yes!" I grabbed his hand and started towards his truck with him looking at me like I was crazy. That absolutely has not changed in 13 years. And off we went, to look at the stars and continue talking. I remember it just felt so comfortable.  That also hasn't changed.

Now here we are, 5 biological kids, 3 foster kids, 6 moves (twice across the country) one career change, and countless other happy and occassional sad, frequently overwhelmed moments later. Thirteen years sounds like a long time, but also not. I remember the summer before my 13th birthday, I was walking with my best friend Cathy. We were talking about how weird it was that we were both about to become teenagers. We dramatically talked about how we felt like we were leaving our childhoods behind. I mean, we knew we weren't grown ups, but we definitely the change. The shift from being a kid, to the beginning of womanhood. We would laugh at this conversation for years later. When we were 18, laughing as we again said, "Well now we really are leaving our childhood behind." But as I've gotten even older I feel more impressed than embarrassed at our young 12 year old selves. Yes 13 is still a child, but we were right. Things were changing. The changes didn't seem to happen so fast when we were 18, but looking back now, it really was all in a blink of an eye.
        So as my relationship with my husband becomes a teenager, I wonder what lies ahead for us. We are done having babies, so we really are entering a new stage of life together. The kids are growing up, and before long it will no longer be diaper changes and story times, but curfews and college applications. On one hand that is scary as heck, but on the other I can not wait. I long for the days that it's just Aaron and I again. I know I'll miss this, and I don't want to rush it, but I am also so grateful for the effort Aaron and I make to stay connected. So that when we do reach that stage we don't look at each other one day and ask, "Who are you?" 
       Well I am not sure how to end this. I'm trying to write more just for the sake of writing. Do you listen to the podcast, A Way With Words? I was inspired by last week's episode to just write. And an anniversary post seemed fitting.

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