Discouraged

Okay so I know I said I wouldn't weigh myself for a month.. but this morning curiosity got the best of me. I GAINED 2 MORE POUNDS!

Okay for reals, I'm not weighing myself again until October 28th. It's kind of inexplicable to me that I'm gaining like a pound a week.

What I ate yesterday:

Whole wheat roll with a little bit of butter for breakfast

Whole wheat roll with slice of cheese for lunch. Also grilled chicken breast and some broccoli.

Navy bean soup with low fat sausage, I started making for dinner, picked on a bit while cooking, but wasn't done at dinner time so we went to PaneraBread and I got a salad with balsamic vinaigrette and whole wheat roll, and broccoli cheese soup.

*edited to add.. I also made homemade Applesauce yesterday, which I snacked on between meals. I probably had a couple servings of that.

I know I could have made some better choices, but seriously, I've eaten like this (worse than this) my whole life, and I didn't pack on the pounds like this.

I'm going to start writing down everything I eat. I know that helps. I'm frustrated, but still hopeful. Not giving up, just working hard. But still BLAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

So last night was the Relief Society General Broadcast. I had a really good time. I went to Olive Garden with a group of ladies from my ward. Then the ice cream social. Then the broadcast. It was a great night. I feel very recharged today. And excited for General Conference next week.

My weight loss journey... yeah I kind of sucked last week. I need to give myself credit for what I did do. Which was limit my sugar intake. And went to Jazzercise 3 days... maybe 4... but I think 3. This week I am going to go 5 days. And run on the 6th day. Yeah that's right! I'm going to run. I think. If I can really get into a good routine I do enjoy running. I just hate starting. I'm also going to majorly up my water intake this week. And continue to limit my sugar. I haven't weighed myself. I'm following advice of a friend and I'm giving it a month. Tonight I made a lowfat Alfredo. It was heavenly. So good. You would never guess it was low fat. And I don't even like aflredo, but this was just delish. The recipe is from here. Try it, you'll like it. I added chicken and shrimp and broccoli.

Funny things from Olivia's mouth today. "Wooooow that's the greatest pie I've ever seen..." Talking about a pile of coasters she was playing with. She also frequently adds phrases like, "in my whole life" to things she says. It absolutely cracks me up. In her WHOLE 30 month life. I have been doing a little bit of mommy school with her during Abigail's nap time. This is where I brag. She knows all of her letters. All colors. Most shapes. And can read a few site words. Like, Mom, Dad, Olivia, Abigail, Pop, Nan, big, little, away... I think those are the only ones she has down pat. I just have them written on little cards and we play games with them. My mom got me a set of flashcards that are first site words, and that's where big, little, and away are from.

We're also on a big Backyardigans kick. It's on 3 times a day on our Netflix. And that's when I'm limiting it. It's okay with me, it's a cute show. But Olivia will request certain episodes and that's starting to drive me nuts. Those songs are catchy!

Bedtime has been an absolute nightmare since we've been back from NJ. I think I hear them even right now, and they've been in there for over an hour. Olivia stays up playing, waking up Abigail, climbing into her crib, taking her pacifier. We've started "grounding" her for doing this. No Backyardigans if she bothers Abigail. But she'll just say, "That's okay, I don't want to watch that anymore." But then the next day she'll throw a fit. So I need something more immediate, but I don't know what to do. I seriously dread bedtime. It is such a battle.

I do feel like I gripe too much, and have been focusing too much on the negative things. I really love being a mother. I am so grateful to have the privilege of raising these girls. ... and I really mean it... but right now I'm so tired and so irked at the pitter patter of feet I hear from Olivia's bedroom I can't get much more out than that. But really I love em!

The secret to the best chocolate chip cookies ever.

Okay you will need to trust me on this. But I have gotten more compliments on my chocolate chip cookies than anything else. Whenever I would make chocolate chip cookies from scratch they would always come out thin as pancakes. Kind of like this:

I tried everything. I used half shortening, half butter. That helped, but to me sacrificed some of the delicious yummy flavor that comes from using butter. I tried keeping everything ICE cold. Like my bowl, my pan, everything. That also kind of helped, but wasn't foolproof. I tested my baking soda. I used vanilla pudding. I used baking powder and baking soda. I used only baking powder. Then I spent some time researching and testing, and I discovered THE SECRET.

Melt the butter. Completely melt it. Don't soften it, completely melt it. I know it's very unorthodox, but it works. Every time. Leaving you with a cookie that looks a little more like this:

Thick, chewy and delicious. If you like them a little crispy cook them just a little longer. I kind of modify the Nestle Tollhouse recipe. But I have followed the recipe exactly, and even that is fine, as long as I melt the butter.

1.5 sticks of butter - melted

3/4 c. brown sugar

1/2 c. white sugar

1.5 tsp vanilla

2 eggs

2 c. flour

1 tsp baking soda

1 tsp salt

about 3/4 of the regular size bag of chocolate chips (I always prefer semisweet)

Then I bake at 350 until it starts to smell perfect. I seriously rely on my nose more than a timer. I think it's about 6 or 7 minutes. Let them finish cooking out of the oven in the pan. Perfection. Every time.

Resisting the urge

TO BAKE! Seriously... I don't know if I can fight it any longer. The weather outside is dark and cloudy, with 70% chance of thunderstorms. My pantry is full of every single ingredient to make the world's most perfect chocolate chip cookie.

And now Olivia just came to me and asked me to bake cookies. (Can she read???) It's a sign. I'm totally caving.

Anyone want some chocolate chip cookies? I swear they're the best.

Shmabby

We are Colts fans in this house. This outfit has gotten more use than probably any other in their wardrobes. Olivia wore it for 2 seasons, and now this is Abigail's second season. It's 6-9 months. She wore at 3 months, and is now wearing it at 10 months. And she has pigtails. In other news I'm making home made lasagna for dinner. And I cleaned the entire house today. And I got like 3 hours of sleep last night. And it's Monday. I'm doing pretty good, if I do say so myself. Except I seriously don't want to Jazzercise today. But I will. I will. This blog will hold me accountable. Won't you, blog?

Do all 2 year olds act like this?

Olivia throws a fit like no other. She seriously loses control and just goes nuts. Screaming, flailing, hitting, and it's hard to snap her out of it. And anything can trigger it. Tonight she had a rash on her bottom, and I asked Aaron to put a little A & D ointment on it before putting her diaper on. She acted like it was pure acid we were applying. I'm sure the screams were heard throughout our entire apartment complex. After about 20 minutes she was smiling and happy again.

I can't wait for this stage to be over.

In other news, I'm still fat. But I hate the scale at Jazzercise. I think I am going to invest in my own new scale tomorrow. According to their scale I am 229. TWO POUNDS HEAVIER! BLAH. But I am not discouraged. I have gone to Jazzercise almost every day this week. I took off on Thursday. I am also going to go tomorrow. I think. I have been eating... okay. Not super great, but just trying to be balanced. I guess I need to put a little more effort there. I know it's a process. (I write this while licking Chunky Monkey from my fingers...) My goal is 20lbs by Christmas. Totally do-able right? I'll keep ya posted. Just reread this, and think I better clarify, that is DOWN 20lbs by Christmas... not the direction I'm currently going :)

In other, other news. Aaron is great. Seriously. I don't know if I blog about it enough, but I love him a lot. Tonight I asked him what are 3 things about me that bug him. And he pretended like he had to think really hard to come up with them. Then it really pained him to tell me. I won't tell you what they are.. .because they're true. And when he reads this he'll say he wasn't pretending. I feel really blessed to be married to him and excited for the rest of our life together. (Enough cheese for ya?)

Dreary Erie

Today I woke up to thunder and rain. My throat hurt and body ached (getting back into the swing of Jazzercise). But little children needed me so I got out of bed. And that's about it. Breakfast was cottage cheese for Abigail, and a banana for Olivia. Then we watched too much TV. Abigail took a nap. Olivia and I watched more TV. Then got an itch to bake a cake. We made the most delicious chocolate cake, with fresh cut strawberries in the center, homemade cream cheese frosting, with semisweet chocolate chips, and more fresh strawberries on top. We each ate a piece for lunch. And watched more TV.

I have a lot of cleaning to do around here. I'm being incredibly lazy today. Tomorrow I'll do better. I need to get things back in order. I was doing SO good at staying on top of housework... and then we went to NJ, and I think I left my motivation there.

Funny Olivia story of the day: "Mom, tell me a story about when I was a little baby. My other mommy told me dat story." Me - "You're other mommy?" Olivia - "Yeah don't you remember her? She was just like you! You're the old Mommy. She was a little Mommy. Do you remember her? When I was a little baby, Mom? Do you remember dat?"

It's funny, I could elaborate for an entire post about how I feel about that comment. I do feel like a different Mommy, from the time Olivia was born until now.

Came across this picture

Just love this. Couldn't get Abigail to sleep that day... and Poppy rocked her and held her until she was out. I am so glad he was able to have that time with great grandbabies. But gosh I miss him.

Abigail is cute.

So I need to do a post with pictures of her. But here is just some of her latest cute tricks.

Shaking her head yes and no in response to questions. Ask her if she wants to go night night and she will shake her head yes or no. Girl loves her sleep, she will actually respond yes a lot of the time! (Very different from her sister who will never admit she's tired, and never willingly go to sleep!)

She can make it up 2 flights of stairs in less than 30 seconds. She's insanely fast on those things.

When singing the "Never Smile at a Crocodile" song, she roars and makes Olivia scream.

She gives the best kisses, and does so on demand.

She takes two wonderful naps every day. Still goes to bed easily at night too.

She can stand up on her own, without even pulling herself up on anything. I'm sure actual walking will start soon.

She still prefers to crawl, than even try to walk. And she loves to be chased, and makes this hilarious fake screaming sound.

She can say mama, dada, hi, nana, and sign milk.

....And as I speak she's making a huge mess, so I need get to that. Maybe one day I'll blog about my two week (ish) adventure in NJ.

More Olivia's funnies

"What's your name again?"

"Mom."

"Oh yeah, mom. I forgot."

Last night Aaron suggested we watch Backyardigains before going to bed. Olivia threw herself onto the ground in total hysterics, pleading to watch Dora. Literally shrieking at the top of her lungs. Because he suggested something other than Dora. Sorry, but that's not how you get what you want around here. So her tantrum escalated to running out of the room and slamming the door. Aaron and I left looking at each other in disbelief. Then a few minutes later comes back and asks very sweetly, "Can we watch Dora, please Daddy?" And kisses him. That is how you get what you want around here so Daddy said, "Yes, we can watch Dora." And then Olivia said, "No thank you, I just want to watch the Backyardigans tonight."

*facepalm*