When I think of close we were to not having Olivia here to celebrate her birthday with us, I literally cannot breathe.
My sweet baby girl, who was the size of a jelly bean when I started this blog, tried to take her own life in November.
Every day since I have wondered what I can do better for her. Will she try it again? How do I keep her safe? What else should I do? Why can't she see how amazing she is? How needed she is. Was I too harsh and impatient when she was a toddler? Was I too lenient and spoiled her so much I didn't give her the chance to build her self esteem? Did I put too much responsibility on her being the oldest? These are questions I never stop asking myself.
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