It won't be in this post.
My heart still aches so much. I feel like I've been in a whirlwind of emotions. I know Poppy is still here. I have had certain spiritual experiences letting me know this. I know his spirit is eternal.
But I am going to miss that man so much.
But I'm also so grateful Olivia will only have fond memories of Poppy. There's no chance she'll remember him bedridden. Or not knowing who she was. Or mean and nasty. Or so sick. She'll remember showing him how she jumped off the diving board. And him always giving her lollipops. If she remembers at all. They will be fond. She's a lucky girl.
I have literally so much to do today. And I just can't bring myself to do any of it. I'm hoping by writing this I am getting some of it out. And I can move on, at least with my day. My heart is so broken for Nanny. Her companion of 55 years is gone. It's just heart breaking.
And then the knowledge I have of the Atonement. Of Eternal Families. I know it will be okay. We'll all be okay. But this week has been life altering. The entire dynamic of our family has changed.
I'm going back to NJ on Friday to stay with Nanny. We'll keep her busy. My kids will make her laugh. Times like this I am so so so so grateful we were prompted to come to PA. Except I wish it were even closer.