Nora asked for an apple and when I told her that she already had one today, so she'd have wait until tomorrow she cried, "But Mommy, that apple is in my stomach. I don't have an apple in my heart."

Also while showering the other day she came in the bathroom and when I asked who came into the bathroom Nora said, "Uhm, it's me, Eliza speaking."

Right now its the end of a long day, after a long week and my heart is just really full of so much love for my people. My migraines have been really debilitating lately and Olivia has just stepped beyond what anyone could ever ask of a 12 year old. She takes the 2 year old and entertains him while I wait for meds to kick in. She cleans up without being asked. I'm just so proud of the wonderful young woman she's become. We're all really enjoying each others company lately - most of the time.

Abigail did tell me she thinks she is starting to go crazy because she thinks she can hear Binky talking to her. She said his voice sounds Alexa, and as she was telling me she said, "Like right now, he's telling me I shouldn't tell you this, and because I'm telling you he just scoffed at me."

Nathan also said his stuffed animals have started talking to him and even sometimes his clothes.

I'm itching for adventure and can't wait until we can go somewhere. I want to visit NJ, I want to camp. I just want to get out of this heat!

Today we went to the river and the kids found a rope swing. Eliza and Abigail both went on it, but everyone else was too scared. Honestly I was terrified and probably shouldn't have let them, but no one got hurt and all is well that ends well, I suppose.

How we've survived lock down

I'm trying to write every day. I feel like I used to love writing and I loved knowing my words made people feel something. I want to improve my writing, and as my kids are growing I'm finding I do have some free time to pursue some kind of thought like this. So here is my attempt on Day 1.

We have been "sheltering" at home for almost 8 weeks. The kids have been fairing pretty well. They say the miss school and things if you ask them, but they don't ever mention it if you don't. With the except of the time we drove past the school and all 3 elementary school aged kids yelled out the window, "LET ME OUT! LET ME GO TO DVA!" which made me happy.

There were a few HUGE things we missed out on that I'm still grieving over.
               1. Fair - girls worked really hard raising their rabbits and were looking forward to showing                    them at fair.
               2. The city's youth theater play. Olivia and Abigail both got lead roles and were so excited.
               3. Olivia's swim team and Shakespeare class/play.
               4. Our trip to NJ in May.

Shakespeare will probably be rescheduled, and our trip to NJ will hopefully still happen later in the summer, but it's still disappointing.

I enjoy not having the craziness of having to get kids to school each morning, swim team every day, play practice, gymnastics, etc. In fact, I can't remember the last time I stressed about how I was going to be in 2 places at once, and having to ask someone for help with transporting my kids somewhere. But not having these things also makes me realize how important they were. They were things that brought enjoyment and gave us something to do, and work on. Hopefully I'll complain less, once we can get back to normal. Another plus has been that they've shortened the hours Aaron's pharmacy is open, so he's always home by bedtime now, even when he has to close. I wouldn't mind if they decide to keep these hours forever.

It has really warmed up over the last week or so, which has made it even harder. Fortunately things are starting to open and people are starting to feel comfortable having play dates again. Really the last few weeks my kids have spent more time playing video games and watching Netflix than anything else. And I struggle with that. On the one hand, we're in a global pandemic so why worry about things like screen time. On the other hand, when I look over and see all of my kids faces in a separate device, I can't help but feel like a terrible mother who's letting her children waste their childhoods on things that don't matter, instead of making memories of playing together.

Well now, Nora has joined me and it's a lot harder to write with a 3 year old asking me a million questions so I guess I'll wrap this up.