This week was the worst.

Tonsillitis is so painful. Started with muscle aches, fever, higher fever, exhaustion, then the kind of sore throat that's so bad you can't swallow your own saliva you are spitting into a cup. It was the worst. And all during Olivia's 7th birthday!  Today was the first day I woke up and felt pretty good, minus a headache. Then that tiny headache turned into the worst migraine of my life. 

I had to call people and ask for help several times this week. That never gets easy to me. I  am so grateful though for so many people who were so willing to watch my kids, clean my house, and cook my family dinner. Yuma may not be the most glorious place in the world but it is really full of some amazing people. So humbling to be served so much. 

So yeah this week goes down in the record books as one of the hardest, most miserable weeks of my 30 years on this earth. Hopefully it's over and the weekend will bring happiness!

Some late night thoughts about motherhood

I have some amazing, strong willed children. One particularly more strong willed than the others, and a baby who may just be following in those footsteps, time will tell. And I'm learning, and trying and some days are amazing. And some days are so hard. But I keep thinking about the phrase, "Have joy in your posterity." These babies are a blessing from God, to bring me joy! Not drive me insane. The more I remind myself of that, the better.

And the joy has come in some sweet little moments lately.

Tonight Olivia told me, out of the blue, "Mom you are just so cool." I have to write this down because I am sure the day is close on the horizon that she will never use me and cool in the same sentence ever again.

The other night putting Nathan to bed he gave me a big hug and said simply, "You're my mom."
There is really no reason that should have made me cry, but I found myself choking back tears nonetheless. I felt so unbelievably blessed to have this moment. And I was able to appreciate it. That doesn't happen too often!

Eliza has been extra cuddly lately. I just can't help but feel so blessed when she snuggles her head into my shoulder. And as I lovingly rub her back, she will wrap her little arms around me and mimic me, rubbing my back in return. Sweetest thing ever, am I right?

Abigail never gives up. We go to the park most mornings and she finally learned how to pump. And she exclaimed, "See Mom! That's what can happen if you never give up! You taught me that." Cue the tears. I so love that she has learned this lesson so early in life. And I hope she keeps it with her throughout her life. She loves to make us all laugh, and she has so much more going on in that little head than she ever lets on about.

I love these little people so much. And they do bring me so much joy. There is a scripture that we have adopted as our family scripture, "I have no greater joy than to know that my children walk in truth." I can certainly testify of its truth. There really is no greater than feeling than seeing your children grow and make wise decisions. My kids are all still so little, but even in these small things it brings my heart so much joy.

So far this post makes it seem like I really have my stuff together. I really don't. I feel the need to keep things real at all times on this blog, so I will tell you this... I have done the bare minimum lately. Laundry was so out of control it took my husband two days of hard work doing laundry nonstop to help get me back on top of it. I couldn't sleep tonight so I literally spent 30 minutes scraping who-knows-what off my kitchen floor. Took the kids to Chik-Fil-A for dinner, and Olivia kept stealing her sister's food, pretended to SNEEZE on her sister's food, and Nathan kept screaming at the top of his lungs over every little thing, and Eliza wouldn't stay in the high chair or stroller, and cried and squirmed until she was happily on my lap. My kids watch way too much TV, and play way too many video games... I really need to get that under control. So yeah, there's real life for ya!