Funny Nora and Eliza cuteness

 Tonight Nora said, "Mom, I just can't remember what I look like! I try to think about it, and my brain just, poof! Can't think of it. I have no IDEA WHAT MY OWN SELF LOOKS LIKE!"

Right now I'm eavesdropping on Nora and Eliza chatting when they're supposed to be sleeping. Eliza asked, "Would you rather have a pet rock, or a pet whale?"

I can't hear Nora's answer, but they are still talking about 10 minutes later so it must be a pretty good discussion.

I had a big mom fail today. I didn't do all the paperwork required for Nathan to show his pigeon in 4H. He showed up tonight for registration and was told he won't be able to show or sell his bird. He was pretty upset and I feel pretty crumby.

Fourteen

 When I think of close we were to not having Olivia here to celebrate her birthday with us, I literally cannot breathe.

My sweet baby girl, who was the size of a jelly bean when I started this blog, tried to take her own life in November.

Every day since I have wondered what I can do better for her. Will she try it again? How do I keep her safe? What else should I do? Why can't she see how amazing she is? How needed she is. Was I too harsh and impatient when she was a toddler? Was I too lenient and spoiled her so much I didn't give her the chance to build her self esteem? Did I put too much responsibility on her being the oldest? These are questions I never stop asking myself.

Have to keep it going!

 Nora's vampire story

I love looking back on this blog and reading about the long forgotten silly things my kids did when they were little.

Right now Nora and Matthew are the littles and I won't have any stories for them when they're older and ask me about the cute funny things they did and said.

I'm going up to try to add a video of Nora telling me a story she wrote about a vampire.

Olivia is about to turn 14. Tomorrow night we have high school registration. I started this blog before an ultrasound could even detect her heartbeat. Time is an interesting thing.

People talk a lot about the teenage years and honestly it's a thousand times harder than I ever could have imagined. I much prefer the days of them wanting all of my attention, to never wanting to talk to me.

So let's talk about the little ones. Matthew is a sensory seeker, hilarious, busy, busy little boy. He does not stop. All day long. He goes, goes, goes. He is constantly into something he shouldn't, despite the fact that there is so much he is encouraged to get into. Toys? Why bother, when someone concurrently conveniently left this pet food here for me to throw all over the place. An entire indoor jungle gym? Thanks Mom, but I'd much rather spend my time unraveling all the toilet paper. He's also a very picky eater and is very particular about things being the way he thinks they should be. 

As much as a handful that he is, he also brings us so much joy and laughter. We delight in every met milestone, and everyone loves hearing every word he comes up with. He has a mind of his own, for sure, but he's also the first to say sorry, give you a hug, and he lives to hold open doors.